By Andrew Coutermarsh
Reprinted with permission from the September 2003 issue of Identity Marketing.

My wife, Pat, is a childcare teacher who works with children age 12 months to two years. She constantly battles the misconception that childcare and daycare are synonymous. Quite the contrary, childcare is programmatic and deliberately focused on teaching children such things as how to use words instead of trying to eat their friends, developing gross and fine motor skills, social and interpersonal skills, and a myriad of other tools that are needed for living in this world. Daycare is focused almost exclusively on keeping the child safe and occupied until parent pick-up time.

Over the years I have listened to her describe the simple delight experienced by children as they stretch to try new words, or experience becoming aware of the natural world around them, or attempt to take on my wife's facial expressions as she reads stories to them. Children work very hard and deliberately at becoming like their role models.

As adults in the workplace, we are not much different than these small future employees. We want to take on new things. We love to learn and then use what we have learned. Like the children, we need managers who can assess whether what we are doing is appropriate to our individual developmental level and, if not, provide training and practice so that we can succeed.

We need encouragement when we achieve, and we need even more encouragement when we fail. The two-year-old little girl who attempted to say forsythia (it came out sythia) would not have continued to practice the word if my wife had not given her exuberant praise for such a great attempt by a two-year-old. Our employees are not much different. The form of praise may be different for adults, but the need is the same.

Two-year-olds sometimes need coaching to help them resolve interpersonal conflicts. They need to be given the appropriate words to use when someone misappropriates their favorite toy and they get angry.

Sometimes, adults need this same kind of coaching. Adults as well as children need rules to play in the sandbox together. We also need appropriate responses and problem-solving skills when a playmate throws the figurative sand in our face.

When a two-year-old falls down and skins her knee, the emotional hurt sometimes is greater than the physical hurt and requires more attention than iodine and a Band-Aid. Occasionally, we adults skin our metaphorical knees and need a little attention just to help the hurt go away. We need that emotional connection with our manager and we need to know that someone cares. We all need to matter.

Everyone needs assurance, once in a while, that we are not just a number in the company computer, that we are not just a means to a financial end. We need to be acknowledged as a person.

Through my wife's eyes I have developed an acute appreciation for the everyday world of the child which, today, is not so different from our own. Most children have to get up and go to work. They put in long days, and they work very hard. Their job responsibilities include teamwork, creativity, completion of specific tasks, problem solving, sharing resources, building and maintaining working relationships, taking direction and feedback, and following rules established by the organization.

You might think that Pat's role is very similar to a parent's, and you would be right. On the other hand, her job closely resembles a manager's. She is responsible for planning and scheduling, evaluation and training, ensuring that resources are available for activities and maintaining a safe environment.

You also might think that as a manager, your role is nothing like a parent's. You would be wrong. Not all of us grew up with parents who were good teachers or role models for interpersonal skills, ethical behavior, etc. Not all of us have been taught the essential skills for everyday living in the world. Not all of us grew up in homes where we were loved just for who we were and not for what we did or did not do.

Some of us desperately need re-parenting and training. We need strong role models in our managers. We need coaching in conflict resolution and creative problem solving. We need assessment of our current developmental levels and we need training and practice so that we can tie our shoes the right way. We need to know that someone cares about us and that it matters that we are on this earth.

My wife is a very special person who considers it a privilege to assist and participate in the development of these young people. Management is no different. If you haven't discovered already, being a manager is a very special privilege that carries with it the responsibility for assisting in the development of human potential. Indeed, we can learn a lot about management from observing the world of children.

 

Andrew Coutermarsh has an MS in management from Antioch New England Graduate School where he is an adjunct professor teaching human resources development. He holds SPHR (Senior Professional Human Resources ) designation from the Society of Human Resource Management, and is director of human resources for Prime Resources Corp. He can be reached at acoutermarsh@primeworld.com .